Regardless of whether you believe your homosexuality came with you into this life or developed, this last sentence is a very important realization. Many in your position do not figure this out or, if they do, will not admit it. (a quote by a poster on Ex-Gay Watch where I wrote this.
The irony is that, [...]
Ex-Gay Watch #4
Ex-Gay Watch #3
I am not fooling myself that I am more than a person on a journey, but if we as “ex-gays” are honest, (and that goes for your as gays as well) we are all on a journey.
Perhaps a dream I had would illustrate. I was in a deep dark swimming pool which had all [...]
Ex-Gay Watch #2
I must be honest, I don’t have the strength to debate. I realise that one cannot be anything without it somehow seeming like an indictment to somebody else. Our very existence as people who have made a choice against homosexuality as a preferred lifestyle choice, is perceived as an accusation by some. Of course, when [...]
Ex-Gay Watch #1
I have taken to processing some of my stuff on Ex-Gay Watch of all places! It is also on my ExGay Talk podcast if you want to listen instead. Otherwise I will be posting it here too… here it is!
“I think however that if we are all to be honest, we can only ever [...]
Giraffe # 1
Its weird
to find
that I
have lost
so much
that was
myself
its strange
but I
have set
out to
discover
who
I am
so here’s
to me
the way
I am
I revel
in
the sum
who am
I then
that I
should argue
with
the Lord’s
own Son?
The puzzle
How gracious He is
How infinitely kind!
Pity we beat ourselves up
with the clubs placed in our hands
By our parents and loved ones
Thinking it is His wish.
When I saw His compassion
for me as I am
I am able to love myself just a bit.
If only I could remember that feeling forever
How different just living
would be…
It is an unveiling
a [...]
It’s all over now
Back again, but different
Now I am stripped
of my pseudo-me
hauled out of the service
to others.
Asked to step down
I expected an agony
instead I felt joy
being out from that burden
Which burden was that?
You may ask
The one that the Lord put there?
The answer is “no”
It’s the one that I took on me
To earn the life-right
to earn the right to [...]
unbearable heaviness of being me
Dear God
I can see how I have failed. I can see what is held before me. but the cracks in me are so deep and so profound that i have no hope of being repaired. i cannot be perfect. even the thought of nor making mistakes. the mere thought of not failing again, fills me [...]
cheerfulness 1
Memory Verse
““A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but
when the heart is sad the spirit is broken”.
- Proverbs 15:13 (NASB)
Cheerfulness. I have been so incredibly crushed in the last while. My life has fallen apart and all that I thought I knew about myself has proven to be faulty. I have found out that [...]
foolishness
My Dear Father
I have typically started the day in a way that will make it difficult to cope and recapture those few precious moments that I lost when I woke up. I am sorry. Now the day is upon me and I and constrained to dial down in a way that is much harder. Still [...]
