I have been reading a book called Out Of Church Christians and one part
of it refers to the “Wilderness Experience” and how it is biblical and how
people believe that they have been called out of church structures to unlearn
stuff and come back with a “new revelation” and it seems to me to be more of
the [...]
wilderness?
The puzzle
How gracious He is
How infinitely kind!
Pity we beat ourselves up
with the clubs placed in our hands
By our parents and loved ones
Thinking it is His wish.
When I saw His compassion
for me as I am
I am able to love myself just a bit.
If only I could remember that feeling forever
How different just living
would be…
It is an unveiling
a [...]
unbearable heaviness of being me
Dear God
I can see how I have failed. I can see what is held before me. but the cracks in me are so deep and so profound that i have no hope of being repaired. i cannot be perfect. even the thought of nor making mistakes. the mere thought of not failing again, fills me [...]
cheerfulness 1
Memory Verse
““A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but
when the heart is sad the spirit is broken”.
- Proverbs 15:13 (NASB)
Cheerfulness. I have been so incredibly crushed in the last while. My life has fallen apart and all that I thought I knew about myself has proven to be faulty. I have found out that [...]
foolishness
My Dear Father
I have typically started the day in a way that will make it difficult to cope and recapture those few precious moments that I lost when I woke up. I am sorry. Now the day is upon me and I and constrained to dial down in a way that is much harder. Still [...]
my/your appleheart
My heart
Like and apple
Eaten by fear
Mouthful by mouthful
Consumed by terror
Fear relishes my life
The juice of me
And I shrink
The essence of me
Fuel to the fear
Oh God
Keep me safe
Hold me safe
Protect my heart
Safe from shrinking into
Nothingness
Disappeared I am
Out of focus
Trembling on the brink
Of the void
I need you so
Your love
My apple
Shining before me
Gleaming with good
Gleaming with God
I [...]
warming me
My morning Father,
My morning Lord
My all-time creator
Tenderly I touch
Tremulously I try
To find your presence.
You are near
I know
You are here
And I must just tune my taste
To find that you are good
Again
Still
And always were and will be
Here is no part of you
That is not good
No corner
Crouching
All of you
Is my food
Is my nourishment
You feed my heart
On your ever-green [...]
sunrise
The Presence of God
As I sit here, the beating of my heart,
the ebb and flow of my breathing, the movements of my mind
are all signs of God’s ongoing creation of me.
I pause for a moment, and become aware
of this presence of God within me.
WELCOME Lord
I open the sluices a little.
I see the rosy touch [...]
morning prayer
I
You presence within
I reach out/in
And awareness bleeds
Slowly at first
Into my mind
Me heart is next
Sniffing the wind
Where is my God
Where is he now?
Follow the trail
Of joy
Abba? Abba?
I’ve lost your scent
Where are you,
God my Father?
I wait
You have not yet
Left me unattended
Never once that I have called
Have I remained alone
Then I look down
I feel the rhythm
I see you [...]
Job 2 — please no, God
The pool is deep today
The bottom not so clear
I drift in the gloom
Of my troubled heart
Yet you are here
With me in this
Your words of warmth
Buoy me up
Oh lord, I need you now
Now not to drown
But rather
Again to prevail
Drinking instead
From your sweetest streams
Flow in me my God
Flow in me now
Your cleansing and
Comfort
My only anchor
Draw me in
Draw [...]
